Will I Ever Truly Be The Woman I Crave To Be?

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sissy who wants to be a woman

If I am ever to be the woman I crave to be I can no longer be the man I have become. He can be no more.

When I speak to the question of whether or not I am a woman, I am not speaking of my gender identity, that personal sense of self that can only be known by myself.  Nor am I talking about my body and the changes it will undergo as I continue my hormonal regimen.  I am not talking about the clothes I wear that often speak more to a preference rather than to gender identity.  Most importantly, I am not talking about my willingness (even my eagerness) to be used by men sexually in those ways that men use women.  I am talking about (to provide just one example) going to the mall.  Will there ever come a time when I can go to the mall and be seen by most of the other shoppers as a woman and not seen by most of those same shoppers as a ‘man wearing a dress.’

Whether or not we like the way it is, being a woman (as well as being a man) is almost exclusively about social perception.  When I step out into the social arena, regardless of how I see myself, regardless of how I present myself, how I am seen by others is t he true definition of whether or not I am a man or a woman.  I have two challenges I must overcome to ever be accepted and seen as a woman when I step out into the public world.

sissy training for tall sissies

I will always be the tallest (or one of the tallest) people where ever I go as Veronica. My challenge is to still find a way for people to see a woman when they see me.

The first is my height — I am 6’3″ before I put on my heels and I love my heels.  So when I am out in public en femme I tower over almost everyone, even the tallest males.  This is one aspect of my physical presence that I cannot disguise.  Even at 6’3″ if I wore flats I would be a tall woman.  However while it will be a difficult hurdle, there are tall women in the world so it is not an impossible hurdle.

The second hurdle may be a bigger challenge.  I have lived my entire life as a male, as a man.  While admittedly there have been times when I was more girl than boy and more woman than man, every job I have ever had has been a job I held as a man.  Every time I have gone out to a mall  — with only a relatively few exceptions — I have gone there as a man.  Throughout the first half of my life, whenever I went to a club or party to socialize with others, I did so as a man.  When it comes to social interactions and how I present myself to others, as much as I hate to say it, there is more ‘man’ in me than there is ‘woman.’

Now of course there is a great deal I can do to present myself to the world as a woman and to begin the process of being seen by oothers as a woman.  However, to be truly a woman, truly the woman I crave to be, it can not be simply a question of becoming a woman.  I must cease to be a man.  I must yield the power I once knew as a man.  (I am not talking here about the power that men often have as alpha males, but more about the inherent power all men have simply because we live in a male-dominated society.  At best I was never a alpha male but that does not mean I did not feel the perks of being male.)  I can no longer think as a man thinks.  I can no longer make the decisions a man makes.  I have to revolutionize how I see myself in the world.

As we all go through our daily lives, there are 1001 ways that we can discern whether someone is a man or a woman.  (Okay I just made up the number 1001 but you get the point.)  To truly be the would I crave to be, I must adopt all of those attributes or traits or clues that define me as a woman and, more importantly to my mind, I must surrender and eradicate all of those attributes and traits and clues that define me as a man.  It is not enough to simply overlay ‘woman’ over who I am.  I must demolish the man I am so I can become the woman I want to be.  How do I do so?

i must surrender to the power of cock and let him define me as a womanThe only path I see to truly being the woman I crave to be is the path of serving men and serving their cocks.  Like a bad habit, being male has become a part of me.  It will never be easy to give up the addictive power of being male.  It is too much a part of myself.  I cannot simply say no more.  To cease to be a man, I must have my man-ness taken from me.  I must yield to one who is a true man.  I must surrender my power to him.  I must accept that his choices are my choices.  I must continually and repeatedly place myself in a position where the power of his cock will define me as a woman as it demolishes me as a man.

I contend that the more often I find myself with a man, the more often a man demolishes all I am as a man, the more often a man comes to know me a woman — a totally powerless, unquestionably obedient woman  — the more likely I am to be seen as a woman when I am shopping at the mall.  I am not suggesting it is enough to be fucked by men or even to be fucked every day by a man.  I am suggesting that the right man using the power of his cock can destroy me as man and re-build me as a woman of his choosing.  If I were fortunate enough to find myself with such a man every day over the course of a month, I am quite certain at the end of the month, when I go out to the mall, I will be a different person — more of a woman and less of a man.

It may take two month or even three or maybe even a whole years.  However, I am convinced that the power of cock — and only the power of cock  — can bring to a life free of all things ‘man’ and make of me and my world all things ‘woman.’

 

 

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